ARADIA: oh maybe a few hundred years or so
ARADIA: well if i had known you were going to be so judgy about it
DAVEBOT: when did this happen
ARADIA: oh i spent some time in other doomed realities and timelines and came back before anybody could tell i was gone
DAVEBOT: oh just out for a bit of fun then
DAVEBOT: just hopped on over to a different reality
DAVEBOT: real casual like
DAVEBOT: oh hello dont mind me just popping in to see if it really is as doomed as they say it is
DAVEBOT: did not disappoint
ARADIA: yes almost exactly like that :)
DAVEBOT: who did you hang out with are they cooler than me
ARADIA: it is complicated to explain
DAVEBOT: oh ok nevermind then
DAVEBOT: all clear
DAVEBOT: a whole alternate universe ripe with the coolest motherfuckers imaginable
ARADIA: you were there too i threw your air conditioner into the sun
DAVEBOT: wow thats fucked up
DAVEBOT: thats not where that goes at all
JADE: these events are not-canonical.
DAVEBOT: i think what the ghost possessing a corpse of my ex is trying to say
DAVEBOT: and correct me if im fucking wrong
DAVEBOT: which for the record im not
DAVEBOT: is that the trope of being hundreds of years old but looking young forever patently sucks ass
DAVEBOT: a plot device an asshole would write
JADE: that is not what i am trying to say at all.
DAVEBOT: hmm wow yeah thatd really be a sort of pot/kettle situation i guess
DAVEBOT: i cant believe im the only woke one here
DAVEBOT: its hard being such a visionary AND such a fine metallic specimen
DAVEBOT: but im an altruist first and fucking foremost
ARADIA: so selfless
JADE: yes, the greater narrative is truly blessed by your beneficent presence.
DAVEBOT: oh so you got jokes now huh
JADE: i have always had the ‘jokes’ of which you speak, but i have heretofore exercised restraint in laying you low.
JADE: i possess knowledge of many of your iterations, as the scope of my powers allows me to exist in several narrative structures at once.
DAVEBOT: but can she see why kids love the sweet cinnamon taste of cinnamon toast crunch
JADE: i do not know, or care, what that means.
ARADIA: neither do i :)
JADE: its cultural significance to you as an earthling is wasted on the two of us entirely, as we have not conflated the misguided notion of clinging to nostalgic cereal advertisement trivia with socially relevant conversation.
JADE: one could say that your reference is lost to