(==>)
John Egbert has not had a day like this in a very long time. He can barely keep track of this series of epiphanies he's having. He stretches out on his couch to relax and process the gifts of advice and connection his friends and family and ex-family have just given him.
He is in the middle of wondering if it's even possible to reach further depths of insight when his phone rings.
KARKAT: JOHN.
JOHN: hey karkat! great timing!
JOHN: so much just happened and im kind of reeling about it.
KARKAT: YEAH NO SHIT.
KARKAT: SO IS HARRY ANDERSON SAFE?
JOHN: huh? yeah, i just dropped him back at roxy's, why?
KARKAT: THANK FUCK. I DIDN'T SEE HIM IN THE PICTURE, BUT THIS IS, AND NO OFFENSE MEANT TO YOUR GENETICS, THE EXACT KIND OF BULLSHIT I WOULD HAVE EXPECTED HIM TO GET HIMSELF HAPLESSLY INVOLVED IN.
KARKAT: NOT SURE HOW VRISKA MARYAM-LALONDE AND TAVROS EVEN GOT INTO IT WITHOUT HIS DEFT TOUCH. EXCEPT OF COURSE I DO, BECAUSE FUCKING VRISKA.
JOHN: none taken, but what are you even talking about? vriska? our vriska?
KARKAT: JOHN.
JOHN: is something going on? i just spent the afternoon with my son, and i think he would have told me if something was up with his friends?
KARKAT: OH MY LUSCIOUS SHITTING CHRIST JOHN LISTEN TO ME.
JOHN: listening!
KARKAT: ARE YOU IN FRONT OF A TV.
JOHN: well yeah, actually.
KARKAT: JOHN I'M BEGGING YOU TO TURN IT ON. ANY FUCKING CHANNEL WILL DO.