==>

TEREZI: NY3H3H3...

TEREZI: H3H3H3H3H3....

TEREZI: H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4!!!!!!!!!

TEREZI: YOU SHOULD H4V3 S33N YOUR F4C3!

TEREZI: 1T W4S 4S PL41N 4ND F34TUR3L3SS 4S 3V3R, JUST L1K3 TH3 CLOY1NG T4NG OF YOUR OV3RB34R1NG OR4NG34D3 PROS3

TEREZI: HOW DO3S 1T F33L TO B3 D4NC1NG TO SOM3ON3 3LS3'S TUN3 FOR 4 CH4NG3, YOU POOFY P4NT3D POM3GR4N4T3 PR1NCL1NG???

TEREZI: >:D

DIRK: Terezi. Always a pleasure.

DIRK: I see you've found the command terminal. Please feel free to stop fucking around with it right about now. You're messing things up before we even get started.

TEREZI: HMMM

TEREZI: HMMMMMMMMMM

DIRK: Hm?

TEREZI: 1 W4SNT F1N1SH3D

TEREZI: *4H3M*

TEREZI: **HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM**!!!!!

DIRK: Sigh.

TEREZI: 1V3 CONS1D3R3D YOUR G3N3ROUS OFF3R V3RY C4R3FULLY

TEREZI: BUT 1M 4FR41D 1LL H4V3 TO D3CL1N3

TEREZI: PUT YOURS3LF 1N MY SHO3S D1RK

TEREZI: 3XC3PT DONT 4CTU4LLY DO TH4T B3C4US3 1 DONT W4NT YOU TO SULLY TH3S3 D3L1C1OUS R3D SL1PP3RS W1TH YOUR SUDOR1F3ROUS N1NJ4 F33T

TEREZI: 1T S33MS TO M3 L1K3 L3TT1NG M3 BOSS YOU 4ROUND FOR 4 F3W M1NUT3S 1S TH3 L34ST YOU COULD DO TO M4K3 UP FOR WH4T PROB4BLY 4MOUNTS TO TH3 MOST BOR1NG 1NT3RG4L4CT1C VOY4G3 1N TH3 H1STORY OF SP4C3 TR4V3L

TEREZI: 4ND CONS1D3R1NG TH4T ON3 OF MY TWO PR1OR 3XP3R13NC3S 1NVOLV3D SCOUR1NG TH3 FR4CTUR3D, D1S1NT3GR4T1NG CORPS3 OF P4R4DOX SP4C3 FOR... WH4T F3LT L1K3 4N 3T3RN1TY,

TEREZI: 1TS NOT L1K3 TH3R3 W4S MUCH OF 4 B4R TO CL34R >:/

TEREZI: TH3R3S ONLY SO M4NY T1M3S 4 G1RL C4N SN1FF H3R W4Y THROUGH TH3 1N-FL1GHT S3L3CT1ON OF 34ST 34RTH 4N1M4T1ON B3FOR3 SH3 G3TS S1CK OF TH3 SM3LL

DIRK: I'm sorry to hear that.

DIRK: Although, in fairness, you came along of your own volition.

DIRK: It's not my fault the journey didn't live up to your expectations.

TEREZI: TH4TS 4 L13 SO F1LTHY TH4T JUST SM3LL1NG 1T M4K3S M3 W4NT TO GO THROW UP 1NTO TH3 N34R3ST TO1L3T!

TEREZI: 1 H4D V3RY L1TTL3 S4Y 1N TH3 M4TT3R

TEREZI: W3 BOTH KNOW TH4T YOU M4N1PUL4T3D M3 1NTO 1T W1TH YOUR PR1NC3LY W1L3S

DIRK: Princely wiles??

DIRK: Are you... flirting with me? Is this a caliginous thing you're going for here.

TEREZI: 3W, NO!!!

DIRK: I'm flattered, but I don't really go for aliens. Or girls.

DIRK: Or alien girls, for that matter. Two yucks don't make a yum.

TEREZI: 3XCUS3 M3 WH1L3 1 W1P3 TH3 SP1TTL3 OFF MY CH1N FROM 4NOTH3R 1MPROMPTU B4RF F3ST

TEREZI: 1M T4LK1NG 4BOUT YOUR G3N3S1S FROG S1Z3D 1N4B1L1TY TO SHUT UP, WH1CH S33MS TO H4V3 SOM3HOW R34CH3D 4 M4SS SO CR1T1C4L 1TS OP3N3D UP 4 WORMHOL3 1N TH3 F4BR1C OF R34L1TY 1TS3LF

TEREZI: YOUV3 ST4RT3D DO1NG TH4T *TH1NG* 4G41N 4ND 1TS COMPL3T3LY 1NSUFF3R4BL3

DIRK: Oh, sorry.

DIRK: I forget how easy it is for you to pick up on it.

TEREZI: 1M4G1N3 TH4T 1M ST4ND1NG R1GHT N3XT TO YOU

TEREZI: W1TH 4 M3G4PHON3 PR3SS3D SNUGLY UP 4G41NST YOUR 1NFUND1BUL4R 4UR4L PROTRUS1ON

TEREZI: NOW 1M4G1N3 TH4T 1 PROC33D TO DRUB YOU S3NS3L3SS W1TH S41D M3G4PHON3, 4ND TH3N D1R3CT 4N 4POLOGY 4T YOUR SLUMP3D, TW1TCH1NG BODY THROUGH 1T

TEREZI: TH4T 1S WH4T WH4T3V3R YOUR3 DO1NG F33LS L1K3

TEREZI: 1TS L3SS TH4T 1 C4N \"P1CK UP ON 1T\", 4ND MOR3 TH4T 1T 4SS4ULTS MY V3RY CONSC1OUSN3SS

TEREZI: YOU H4V3 4LL TH3 SUBTL3TY OF 4 CULL1NG FORK TO TH3 THOR4C1C 3XOSK3L3T4L PL4T34U

TEREZI: 4ND 1TS H4RDLY SURPR1S1NG TH4T 1 C4N H34R YOU SO CL34RLY

DIRK: How do you mean?

DIRK: I just assumed it's because you're a Seer. It seemed appropriate somehow that you'd be able to sense these kinds of things.

TEREZI: W3LL TH4TS PR3TTY OBV1OUSLY WRONG, SH1T-FOR-SP3CS

TEREZI: 1F 1T W4S B3C4US3 1M 4 S33R, TH3N HOW COM3 ROS3 DO3SNT KNOW 4BOUT 1T TOO?

TEREZI: 1 M34N... M4YB3 SH3 DO3S??? BUT 1F SO SH3S SOM3HOW PUTT1NG ON TH3 B3ST 4CT 1V3 3V3R S33N

TEREZI: NO, 1M PR3TTY SUR3 1TS B3C4US3 OF OUR 4SP3CTS

DIRK: What, Heart and Mind?

TEREZI: M1ND 4ND H34RT, Y3S

TEREZI: TH3 TWO OF US 4R3 OPPOS1T3S, R1GHT?

TEREZI: 4ND WH3N 1T COM3S TO TH3 4SP3CTS, OPPOS1NG P41RS 3FF3CT1V3LY D3F1N3 34CH OTH3R ON 4 FUND4M3NT4L L3V3L

TEREZI: M1ND 4ND H34RT, T1M3 4ND SP4C3...

TEREZI: TH3YR3 4LL TWO S1D3S OF TH3 S4M3 CO1N

TEREZI: OR 1 GU3SS

TEREZI: TW3LV3 S1D3S OF TH3 S4M3 S1X CO1NS?

DIRK: Sounds complicated.

TEREZI: OH FUCK OFF 1 KNOW YOUR3 PL4Y1NG DUMB TO 4NT4GON1Z3 M3

DIRK: Well, I'm an antagonist now. That's what I do.

TEREZI: OH MY GOD G3T OV3R YOURS3LF 1 4M B3GG1NG YOU

TEREZI: WH4T 4R3 YOU 3V3N DO1NG R1GHT NOW

DIRK: It's a bit hard to explain.

DIRK: If you're so bored, maybe you can help me out here. We can play a little game.

DIRK: I just need you to submit a few instructions into the terminal. Your wishes will be my commands.

TEREZI: SOOOOOOOOO...

TEREZI: YOU JUST W4NT M3 TO, L1K3

TEREZI: DOM YOU W1TH TH1S COMM4ND ST4T1ON FOR 4 WH1L3??

DIRK: If you wanted to phrase it in a way most calculated to awaken the hair-trigger psychoanalytical instincts of my slime daughter, then yes, I suppose you could say that.

TEREZI: OH D34R

TEREZI: L3TS NOT ROUS3 TH4T SL33P1NG PR1D3B34ST JUST Y3T

DIRK: Motion fucking seconded.

DIRK: Look, I'm not asking for much. Just a little light action to prepare us for the road ahead.

DIRK: Nothing too off the wall.

DIRK: You're a strange and funny girl, Terezi, but you're less likely than certain others to leave the equivalent of a steaming pile of horse manure in the submission box.

DIRK: Consider this little sum of executive power over my actions a planet-warming gift. Spend it wisely.

TEREZI: >:O!!!!!

TEREZI: WHY MR STR1D3R YOUR G3N3ROS1TY KNOWS NO BOUNDS

TEREZI: BUT 1M 4FR44444441D YOU C4NT H4V3 4NOTH3R COMM4ND JUST Y3T

TEREZI: YOU H4V3NT COMPL3T3D TH3 ON3 1 4LR34DY G4V3 YOU!

DIRK: What.

DIRK: Looking at these plants? I already did that. Inspected them good and fucking proper.

DIRK: Look, they've gone bright pink from how hard I've been scrutinizing them.

DIRK: They all seem perfectly fine.

TEREZI: >:]

DIRK: Wait.